Romance might not be dead, but it’s sure in a coma or something.
Googles: "Is romance a myth?"
To be fair, I'm sure a fraction of the population in a relationship is experiencing the best real life romantic comedy ever created, but for the single pringles out there it's more like a comedy, a really really funny one at least. Some may even say modern romance is like a horror comedy, where things are pretty bad and things often go wrong but all you can do is laugh at how ridiculous it is.
I'm not a hopeless romantic myself so if I'm noticing the lack of romance in our time than you probably are too. And if you're one of the few fortunate that are just radiating love and affection, well good for you, sit back and feel thankful.
For starters, sliding into dms is probably the least romantic and bold move there is. We appreciate the thought, but frankly don't find it impressing. The fact that the term “sliding into dm’s” is actually a thing is just one of the many reasons why romance is in critical condition in the ICU. But hey, if this is your go to move, try a more simple approach like a hey, how are you instead of the eye emoji with the peach. For those of you who don’t speak emoji, that basically means "wow I see you and your fine ass". Omg swoon, that will totally get them! How more romantic can this get? You just wait on it. Let's move on to the snapchat phase.
Snapchat plays a huge role in this lack of romance. My mom used to wait by the phone for the boy she liked to call so no one else could take up the line and now we wait by the phone checking to see if that certain person watched our snapchat story, how lame is that??? Well it gets lamer; we then anxiously wait for that famous little blue box to pop up (translation: a message replying to your snapchat story, a vital gesture of interest) but if it doesn’t then you rethink your whole entire purpose in posting that selfie you retook 23 times and finally decided you quit, “Damn it, I KNEW I should've gone with picture number 14.” But wait, there’s more! God forbid you check on that snapchat you sent someone and it says “opened 30 minutes ago,” ugh the betrayal, are we not a thing anymore?! Let us also not forget the famous snapchat streak we all secretly work so hard to keep up with because it is oddly satisfying to see a number get higher each day as it somewhat defines how close you are with the person. One time I literally described a relationship to my friend as "pretty serious" because there was a red heart next to their streak, which means we have been each others best friend on snapchat for two weeks in a row. Impressive, I know. But if you ruin a snap streak with that other person, how dare you! You’re telling me Noah wrote Allie a whole entire HANDWRITTEN letter everyday for a year, but you can’t keep our snapchat streak going for longer than 20 days? I don’t think so buddy, NEXT.
How did it shift from getting asked on actual dates to getting asked to “hang out?” and since when is the amount of pictures you post about a person on social media a measure of how much they like or care about you? We went from sending flowers and cards to sharing meme’s (actually not complaining about this one, I'm totally here for this and encourage this behavior). But seriously, this shift to modern day romance, which is not romantic whatsoever, totally sucks.
Older people are probably reading this thinking how stupid this all sounds and really it doesn’t just sound stupid, it IS totally and completely ridiculous! Not expecting some grand romantic gesture but c'mon some more effort won’t go unnoticed. I’m not telling you to risk your own life and die in the freezing cold water to save me as I float away on a doorframe that can actually fit the both of us (we're still not over it Rose) but still maybe supply me with an endless amount of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream. You don't even have to eat it with me, and I truly hope you don't because I can eat the entire pint on my own, but it's the thought that counts. Now that’s romantic.
Until romance wakes up from that coma though, at least we still have $3 wine. Cheers people.